Haaaaal-le-lu-jah.  Haaaal-le-lu-jah.  Hallelujah.  Hallelujah.  Haaal-leee-luuu-jahh.

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I am back.  I am alive.   I did not leave the planet.  (Although, that would have been interesting.)  I am so excited about getting to write again.  I have been in zombie mode for the past month with all the paperwork, packing, painting, and a whole bunch of other tasks that begin with the letter “p.” (?)

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The sad truth is that we have SO much to do still.  My sweet husband has been out of town for a few weeks.  He actually left about three days after we got the keys to our house.  Talk about bad timing.  We didn’t even manage to get everything moved in before he left, so I spent 5-6 days trying to get things in order.  I’m so glad I had some help.  My mom did a whole lot of painting, which was an absolute life saver!   My sweet sisters, Sarah and Grace, also helped tremendously.  It was and still is tough, though.   The to-do list never ends.

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Patrick’s going out of town at such an inopportune time was a real wake up call for me.  Not only were we in the middle of a big move and “life change,” but I also got something similar to the flu the day after Patrick left.  That meant I was left all alone with a rambunctious one year old while I had a fever for 36 hours straight.  It was not fun.  Unfortunately, because we had moved a lot of our furniture, we were stuck on the floor at my mom’s house for a few days.  Fever + 1 year old + no furniture + no husband = not fun.  I very quickly realized that I am married to a superb individual.   A man who helps me more than I could ever even imagine.  I am so blessed. (Now get home already!!!)

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As for this father/husband-less adventure Axel and I are having, it is going fairly well.   We have had a few unexpected dilemmas, but that’s to be expected.   I’ll share one of the incidents with you.  Please discontinue reading if you’re squeamish.

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I found out last week that our sweet little boy loves fresh blueberries.  He will go through half a pint in 3-4 minutes, seriously.  He enjoys them so much, in fact, that he sometimes bypasses chewing.  Maybe a quick “mush” with the gums, but that’s about it.

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So, a day or two after he started the blueberry craze, he had a bowel movement.  I, however, was in the kitchen tidying up (<—that’s a lie, but I was in the kitchen doing something!).  He was wearing his usual saggy-baggy underwear.  Upon entering the living room, I find that he has something in his hands.  (Yep, you know what’s coming.)  He quite literally had a turd in each palm, squeezed tight mind you. I tried not to panic.   I dropped him in the tub and started cleaning his hands.  (I actually used the organic baby wash for once!)  It was really black and gross, full of WHOLE blueberries.  They looked just liked the dehydrated version.  (Mmm…)

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I’d love to tell you that that is the end of the story.   But, if I did, I’d be lying.  What happened next is the terrifying part.

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Fifteen minutes later the entire scene repeated itself, with one exception.  This time, Axel decided that he wanted to eat the poo.  He was chomping away on those blueberries like they tasted just as good as the first time he ate them.  It was horrendous.  This time, I freaked out. I even cursed.  All I could think to say was, “ahh, Axel… you’re eating your crap!”  (I used another word, though.)  I mean, I wasn’t yelling or anything, I was just disgusted beyond “clean” words.

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I can now officially say that my child has eaten feces.  I should now have automatic acceptance into any and all “mommy” groups.  :)

Sink full of spinach. :)

Mmm.  Mmm.  Mmm.

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There is nothing like fresh picked garden vegetables in the spring.

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A lady that my husband works with recently gave us a small bag full of spinach from her garden because she had some left over that she couldn’t eat.  We devoured the whole bag that day, and greatly enjoyed every last bite.  The next day, Patrick let her know that we were available at any time to eat her “excess” garden spinach.  She was happy to have found someone to appreciate it, and told Patrick that she would bring more the following day.

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When the next day rolled around, Patrick was surprised to find a large “trash bag” PACKED with the delicious vitamin rich leaves.  To put it lightly, we were excited.  We ate spinach in everything for awhile.

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Spinach tossed into black beans!

Both Patrick and myself are fascinated by growing food.  I don’t know what it is about it, but there is so much magic and beauty in the process.  It’s like we get to physically watch God’s creation in action.  It almost takes my breath away.

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I cannot wait to plant our seedlings in our new backyard.  (If we ever close on the stinkin’ thing!)  We started growing fruit and vegetables in little pots, and we’re having great success!  We have all sorts of things growing, including many unwanted varieties of mushrooms that sprouted from the organic soil we planted our seeds in.  I think the soil is just too moist.  It’s been somewhat overcast, and we’ve been watering all the plants still, which is probably a bad idea.  Anyway, I’m going to handpick those little boogers out, and hopefully they’ll stay away.

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Spinach and brown rice.

I’ll do a fun post soon about our gardening ventures, and I’ll include plenty of photos of our seedlings.  (Some of which are almost 3 inches tall, and are wondering where they are supposed to go!)  Please pray that we’ll get into our house soon!

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P.S. – Apparently, spinach grows very quickly, so grow a couple plants if you can next season, and start tearing into those green smoothies. We drank many over those couple of days, and felt wonderful. Talk about a money saver!

Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I’ve never considered myself to be a great role model, although that is something that I aspire to become.
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I just don’t have it in me to be perfect. I realize that good role models don’t have to be perfect, but the people that I personally look up to far exceed me in so many realms. That is my problem. I’ve always admired people who are “better” than me.

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How do I define better? Well, someone who is smarter, kinder, less irritable, prettier, etc… It’s obvious that I’ve struggled with self esteem issues. But, now that I have a growing boy in my care, I have started to view the world and the people in it differently. I can only improve myself through hard work and commitment, not through being jealous of others.

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My main problem is that I am constantly guilt ridden about this, that, or the other. I never think I am doing a good enough job. When I do actually give myself credit for something, I immediately feel as if I’m being proud, and I shut it out.

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On the surface I believe that I am a good mother to my son, but deep down I honestly feel like I’m doing a pathetic job. I know that this an unhealthy way to view myself. It’s hard to change, though, because I am so adapted to this type of thought pattern. I really want to love myself, so I can become a great role model for my son. At this point I am too afraid, and in turn, am not at my best for my sweet Axel.

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People tell me, “oh, you’re being too hard on yourself. You can’t do EVERYTHING that you want to do with your kids, it isn’t possible.” That’s not the main problem for me, though. I just feel wrong deep in my heart, like no matter how many natural parenting behaviors I practice, or how many activities I do with Axel, I will never be enough. I know where these feelings came from. I’ve had them for such a long time. I’ve been smothering them for years. I do think that confronting them has finally started to point me in the right direction, though, which is a good start.

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I just want Axel to know that I am trying my hardest to be a good mother, and I want nothing more than to show him that. I cannot, and will not allow myself to have a pity party. I am determined to prove to myself that I am a loving and caring mom. If God be for me, who can be against me?

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by the end of the day May 11 with all the carnival links.)

It’s important for me to preface this review by first saying that I love cooked food. I enjoy meat, although I’ve chosen to avoid it. Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream is delicious, but I don’t eat that either. I love grilled veggies, toasted bread, pizza, and TONS of other cooked food dishes. I’m saying this so it is made known that I am not only a raw food lover. That would definitely get in the way of an objective review.

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Raw Bliss Cafe was absolutely superb, and I mean that. I cannot even describe how spectacular the flavors were. The most surprising aspect of the whole experience was how similar the raw dishes tasted compared to their cooked counterparts. It was unreal. We got to enjoy the tastes that we love, without feeling lousy afterwords. The whole meal was actually nutritious, and we were beyond satisfied after eating.

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The portion sizes were actually quite large, which I didn’t expect. It was the perfect amount of food. We left feeling full, but not “stuffed.” That, of course, is partly to do with the fact that the meal was 100% raw, but the size also played a significant role.

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The price was very reasonable, in my opinion. We bought two entrees, and a slice of cheesecake, and ended up with a (roughly) $50 tab, including a 20% tip. Considering that we would pay about that much to eat at any other decent cooked food restaurant, we considered it quite a bargain. (They say the food is all organic too!)

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Patrick ordered the raw version of one of his favorite cooked meals, spaghetti and meatballs. (Not sure whether or not he was a big meatball fan, but the noodles and sauce he LOVES!) I recorded him taking his first bite, so I’ll just share that with you instead of explaining the experience.

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It’s evident that he enjoyed it. I agree that it tasted very similar to “regular” spaghetti, but it was SO much better. The noodles were made of zucchini, but by the texture of them, they really could have passed for wheat. They broke down much easier, though, and didn’t feel nearly as heavy in my stomach. The sauce had tomatoes, herbs, and some type of nut mixture to substitute for meat. The meatballs almost tasted like beef, which was extremely bizarre, but exciting none the less.  They were delicious. (Not a big beef fan, but those meatballs were great!)

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A salad made of mixed lettuces, tomatoes, carrots, and a delicious sweet sauce, was served beside the spaghetti, and the flavor paired extremely well with the richness of the spaghetti sauce.  Patrick said that the meal was the perfect size, because had it been even a little bigger, the flavors might have been too overpowering.  (And had it been smaller, he would have been screaming for more.)

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I ordered the Rawko Tacos, although they really didn’t look like tacos.  The name should more realistically be Rawstados, because the corn tortillas were served flat.  (We ate at the second Dallas location, though, so they might be different at the first restaurant.)  Despite the tortilla shape conflict, I enjoyed the heck out of those things.  I was too involved in the eating process to pay much attention to what was on them, but I do know that they had a lot of lettuce, and some delicious cheese and sour cream sauces squeezed on top.  I must admit that neither of those things have ever appealed to me.  The thought of eating sour cream has always brought forth a strong gag reflex, but in this case, I made an exception, simply because it was raw and delicious!  I found comfort in knowing that my food was not the curdled contents of a cow’s utter.

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Two small ramekins were served alongside my tacos that contained a red and a green hot sauce.  They were both delicious, although I only ate a small portion of the green one.  (It was spicy, and I ran out of taco!)

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We decided to take a slice of cheesecake to go.  It was white and dark chocolate flavor, and boy was it grand.  We actually got into the car, and I just had to take one bite before we drove away.  Patrick took a bite right after that, and with a quick glance at one another, we forked that thing into our mouths like it was the last dessert we would ever eat.  It was reminiscent of cheesecake, but actually tasted more like mud pie. (The cookie and whip cream dessert, not actual mud.)

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After we ate it, Patrick went inside to “use the bathroom.”  (That’s code for “buy more cheesecake.”)  He came out with almost two full pieces.  At $9 each, I was a little nervous, but he quickly explained the situation.

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Upon entering the restaurant, Patrick had walked over to the waitress and chef, and asked for another piece of cheesecake.  (They were thrilled that we had enjoyed it.) My sweet husband explained himself by saying that he was only splurging because it was our anniversary (yeah right, excuses excuses).  The chef gave an approving glance to the waitress, and she told my husband that he could have the slice for free!  She then asked if he would want another piece that had slightly melted, and he without a thought accepted.  What sweet people.

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We were actually able to save “a” slice until dinner that same night.  It was very sad when it was gone.  I almost cried.  :)

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All in all, the food was amazing, the staff was friendly, and the environment was relaxing.  It is a quaint little place with only about 15 tables, which was nice in my opinion. It’s so much more peaceful that way.  The only server that was there did seem a bit frazzled, but that’s to be expected with a new restaurant.  She did have a friendly demeanor about her, though, which was refreshing.

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We were extremely encouraged by our experience at Raw Bliss Cafe.  It will be a wonderful treat for us on special occasions, and one that we will look forward to time and time again.  We cannot wait to try more of their fabulous dishes.

Our wedding anniversary is coming up, and I’m excited to say that we are going to enjoy the afternoon at Raw Bliss Cafe in Dallas! We are beyond excited, especially since Axel will actually be able to eat the food along with us! (We’ve had problems in this area since we are still eating cooked, and he’s all raw.) Anyway, I want you all to prepare for my upcoming review. I can only hope that it will be a good one.

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Wish me luck!

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P.S. – I planted a mess load of organic seeds in little peat moss pots, and almost all of them have sprouted. We have about 125 heads of romaine lettuce, beets galore, cantaloupe, big and small watermelon varieties, thyme, and a few other things. I am so excited about them. Who knew growing your own food could be so fun? :)