Natural Parenting Fathers

Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners!

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This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how a co-parent has or has not supported us in our dedication to natural parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Let me just start by saying that I have the most amazing husband in the world.  He has always been extremely supportive, especially so since Axel’s birth.  He’s been marching right beside me throughout breastfeeding, co-sleeping, EC’ing, cloth diapering, and all the rest of my “natural parenting” ideals.  I am 100% certain that I would have failed miserably at many of those things if he hadn’t been there to not only encourage me, but also to participate.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to put Axel’s undies on to wash, only to find that Patrick has already washed, dried, and put them away.  (That’s on top of him working 45+ hours a week!)  He is THE man.

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A lot of our parenting ideas actually originated with Patrick.  He wants to live naturally.  He wants me to stay home and raise Axel.  He wants to be a good example.  We have the same goals.  We have a unified focus.  I think that’s what marriage is all about.

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It’s not as if we never disagree.  That’s hardly the case.  We have differing opinions on many things, but we usually talk it over, and come to an agreement of some sort.  It just so happens that most of the time we end up with the same thinking on the issues we discuss.  (Although, I’ll admit, sometimes I am quick to throw out Patrick’s ideas, only to later decide that he was right.  I’m a stubborn woman.  Nobody is perfect. :) )

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Luckily, Patrick isn’t perfect either.  He has jumped quite a few hurtles along this natural parenting road.  Co-sleeping is a great example.  Logically, he understands the concept, and truly believes it’s the best possible sleeping situation for our son.  I know that he would have a hard time keeping Axel in a crib, especially in a separate room. 

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Despite all that, he misses me.  Of course, that’s very understandable.  He had me all to himself before our baby boy was born, but now it seems like all my time, love, and above all, both my breasts, are devoted to Axel.  We don’t get to cuddle as much.  We don’t get to talk to each other at night after Axel has gone to sleep due to fear of waking him.  Worst of all, we don’t get to get down and dirty in our own bed!  As Patrick says, he “just needs some lovin’!”

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None the less, he has been the ultimate trouper.  I don’t think I’ve heard him complain even once!  I can sense his annoyance, though.  I don’t think it’s gone as far as him being resentful, but it has caused him some grief, which I hate.  He has been an amazing, and understanding daddy.  I want him to be as happy as possible, which is why I’ve started to find other ways of pleasing him (i.e. – getting naked).  Unfortunately, at this point, there’s not much to work with.  I’m really debating having my sister in law watch Axel for an hour or two every once in awhile, so we can have some time for just us.

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So far, I’ve only left Axel once, for about 2 1/2 hours, and it wasn’t at all planned.  My friend went into labor, and Patrick was unable to get home from work immediately, so I had to leave Axel with his sister.  It was horrid.  I’ve never been that anxious in my life. 

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Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way, but leaving my baby while he’s this young really feels unnatural to me.  I think he’s supposed to be with me right now, all the time.  I realize doing that isn’t even possible for most people, but for me it is, and I think I should take advantage of that privilege.

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I know Patrick gets that.  He trusts my judgement, even when it means he loses out on a little extra attention.  I am so blessed.  I know there are people out there who wish that their spouse was as understanding as mine, so I really need to step up and treat him well.  I want to be as good a wife as he is a husband, even if that means silently doing the deed in our 4 by 4 foot closet at 6am.  He deserves it.

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated Feb. 9 with all the carnival links, and all links should be active by noon EST. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.)

February 9, 2010 | Tags: | 11 Comments »

We Have A Code Wheat, I Mean White

I was reading a book yesterday, and the author brought up something I had never heard before.  It had to do with assigning color codes to people’s levels of awareness (I think it may have originated in the military).  The codes are as follows:
  • White – Unaware
  • Yellow – Attentive
  • Orange – Focus is directed
  • Red – There is a definite threat
  • Black – You are actively fighting

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All of this to say, I recently had a completely code white moment. 

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I decided a few days ago to make apple pie, but I had to substitute oat flour for wheat to make the crust.  I successfully did this without much trouble at all.  Afterwards, I started to heat the sugar mixture on the stove to coat the apples.  At that point, I had forgotten that the syrupy liquid called for a few tablespoons of flour to thicken it up.  Seems like a simple enough dilemma, right?

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Wrong. 

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All I had to do was substitute oat flour like I did with the crust, but I somehow managed to miss that step. 

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I seriously scooped the flour out of our big 5 gallon bucket we keep it in, and it didn’t even dawn on me that I couldn’t eat wheat flour.  Even after going through all the trouble of specifically buying gluten free oat flour!  I couldn’t believe it.  I knew it tasted too good to be true. 

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The sad part is that I didn’t even realize I had eaten wheat until yesterday, four days after the incident.  I was making Patrick an apple pie, yes, another one, with a buckwheat crust (which I wouldn’t recommend, by the way, unless you load up on the sugar!).  I once again started making the sugar mixture on the stove and I almost used the regular white flour… AGAIN!  I stopped myself right before I opened the bucket, and all of the sudden realized that I had done this before, just four days prior.  Ugh.  Talk about frustrating. 

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The somewhat good (and bad) news is that Axel had a reaction to the wheat (or gluten, not sure).  The day after I had eaten it, he broke out with little bumps on his cheeks and his back.  I had attributed it to the oats, which was why I used buckwheat yesterday instead.  I was upset, too, as that meant I had to eliminate those from my diet as well (not that I was eating them often, but occasionally it’s nice to have something other than beans, rice, or potatoes). 

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At least now I know it wasn’t the oats, and I also know that I officially can’t have wheat.  Bummer.  Oh well, it’s all worth it for my baby boy.

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Tomorrow I’ll be doing a blog post for the carnival of natural parenting, so check it out if you like!  Also, on Wednesday, I’m going to try to write about our vegan batch cooking experience last Saturday.  There doesn’t seem to be much info on the subject, and I’m sure there is someone out there who could use some.  Thanks to all who read (my blog, that is, although reading in general is okay, too :) ).

February 8, 2010 | Tags: | No Comments »

Reasons To Co-Sleep

There are innumerable benefits to co-sleeping, many that I am unaware of, I’m sure.  I have discovered a few, though, throughout the last 8 1/2 months of sleeping with my child.  The most valuable and obvious of which is the closeness that we are able to share. 

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I’ve always loved being able to hear my husband breathing while he sleeps, and I feel that way about my son as well.  There is nothing more peaceful than seeing, hearing, and feeling a child breathe.  It’s something that cannot be described, but is easily understood by most parents, especially mothers.  I believe the thing that truly amazes me is that a part of me is alive outside of my body, a part of my heart.  My wonderful Creator is allowing me to experience something so much bigger than myself.  It’s a small dose of the love He has for us as our Father.

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I love curling up next to baby Axel at night.  He is such a sweetheart, and I’ll use any excuse I can come up with to be close to him as much as possible!  I think a lot of parents feel that way, but at the same time, they are being fed all sorts of misinformation about co-sleeping, which is unfortunate.  I don’t think bed sharing would be as uncommon as it is if people truly followed their natural instincts.

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We planned on co-sleeping right from the beginning of my pregnancy.  There weren’t any other options in our minds.  That didn’t change once Axel was born either.  We fell into a natural rhythm, and quickly adapted to having a new little human in bed with us.  Life was good (and still is).

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It hasn’t gone perfectly, but I can’t imagine things going any smoother with him in a crib.  The hardest part was the first month, mainly because I was a new mother and somewhat fearful.  He was so tiny, and I knew it was my job to protect him, so I was overly cautious about our sleeping arrangement.  I had him bordered off with small pillows at first, just to make sure he was safe in case I rolled over.  I still kept my face very close to him, and always kept my hand on his foot, so he knew I was there.  Thankfully, that only lasted a few days, as I figured out that I no longer was a deep sleeper.  ;)   Having a baby really amplifies a mommy’s senses!

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Axel sleeps so easily when I’m near him, opposed to when I’m not (such as during naps).  He knows I’m there, even when he isn’t awake, which is kind of bizarre, but makes perfect sense.  Babies want to be close to their mommies, it’s just a natural desire, I think.

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The good thing is that he is becoming more and more independent.  Over the past few weeks, he has decided to occasionally roll away from me while falling asleep (he’s done this 3-4 times).  In other words, he likes his space, which hasn’t been the case before now.  It’s a bit sad, but at the same time, I know it’s just a necessary step he has to take.  It’s also encouraging, because I feel it means that Patrick and I have a done a good enough job with him, so far, that he trusts us enough to take that next move of independence from us.

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I haven’t set a move out date for Axel, as I am kind of waiting to see how everything falls into place, or falls out of place.  :)   I think we still have a ways to go, which I’m relieved to know, but I know that this time will pass quickly.  I’m enjoying every night I get to spend cuddled up with our little boy.  He is such a gift.

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I sure don’t want him to grow up.  :(

February 4, 2010 | Tags: | No Comments »

Good Food Deals In DFW Area

Yesterday we went grocery shopping, just like we do every weekend.  This week, though, we found a new store to shop at.  :)   It’s called Sprouts, and although we’ve shopped there before, we were unaware that there was a location close to us.  As a matter of fact, it’s only four miles from one of our other weekly shopping stops, Cox Farms Market (their website isn’t up, yet).

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I was elated to find out Sprouts was so close.  I absolutely love them!  They have a large variety of produce, and it’s all usually priced very reasonably.  They also have a lot of organic products, which is nice.  The staff has always been friendly, and the store is very easy to navigate.  The center of the store has “bulk” items, that you can scoop, such as granola, dried fruit, and nuts.  Overall, it’s an all around great place to buy food.

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As for Cox Farms Market in Duncanville, I would give them a five star rating simply based on their organic romaine lettuce.  It’s the best around that we’ve found.  The leaves are always a rich, vibrant green color, and they have a wonderful crisp texture.  It’s best to call ahead before going because they are sometimes out of stock, although I’ve only come across this once (it was on a Sunday).

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The third and final store we visit weekly is Whole Foods.  I’m sure most of you have shopped there, or at least heard of it.  It can be extremely overpriced, so you definitely have to know your stuff before going there.  Otherwise, you’ll end up with a huge bill, and very little food. 

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Occasionally, you can find some good deals when fruit goes on sale, and there are also a few items that we purchase there simply because no one else carries them.  Above all, the thing I like most about Whole Foods is that there are no artificial preservatives, or hydrogenated oils in ANY of their products.  Sometimes it’s worth the extra money just so you don’t have to worry about reading every single label.  (This doesn’t apply to us, however, as we are on a budget, and my diet is so restricted.)

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This week, I came across a few great deals, and I’d like to share them just in case there is anyone in the DFW area looking for cheap and healthy food.  (Keep in mind, Whole Foods and Sprouts have other locations in the US, just run a search on their websites to find a store near you.)

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Whole Foods

  1. 18 pound bag of grapefruit for $8.99 - These grapefruit are the large variety, and are a deep red color inside.  They are sweet, juicy, flavorful, and have consistenly tasted delicious.

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Cox Farms Market

  1. 5 lb bag of potatoes (not organic) for .99 cents – We usually stick to organic when it comes to potatoes, but the deal was just too good to pass up.  We bought 70 pounds, and so far they’ve all tasted great, especially for the price!
  2. 8 lb bag of grapefruit for $1.99 – These grapefruits are smaller than the ones from Whole Foods, and don’t taste as good, but are slightly cheaper.  (If you can, I would recommend buying the larger variety from Whole Foods)
  3. Organic romaine lettuce heads for $1.89 each - I cannot say enough good things about this lettuce.  It’s delicious, and I can tell it’s very nourishing.  Also, the heads are usually ENORMOUS!  Just a tip: If they have just recently stocked the lettuce, check out the heads on the bottom, as they typically place the largest heads there.  Save me some!  :)

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Sprouts Farmers Market

  1. Zucchini for .88 cents/lb – The cheapest I can find anywhere else is $1.49/lb, so this is a great deal.  Plus, these were the really small kind, which actually have much more flavor. 
  2. Broccoli crowns for .77 cents/lb – The cheapest elsewhere was $1.29/lb.  They were fresh and crisp, unlike a lot of the limp stuff I see in other markets.
  3. Tangelos for .99 cents/lb - So yummy! 
  4. Organic bartlett pears for .88 cents/lb – These haven’t ripened enough to eat, so I can’t review the taste just yet.
  5. Yellow and red bell peppers for .69 cents each – If you know anything about bell peppers, you know this is a great deal.  I haven’t tasted them yet, but they look great!
  6. A huge box of Mom’s Best Natural’s Honey Nut Toasty O’s for $2.79 – We bought these as a treat for Patrick.  Cheaper, and much more healthy than Cheerios!

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As you can see, this week we scored big with Sprouts (although the 70 pounds of potatoes for 14 bucks wasn’t too bad, either).  I encourage you to check out one or all of these stores.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to do a weekly update of all the good deals we come across.  I know as “natural parents,” many of us place a high priority on health, so it’s nice to save a buck any where you can.  I hope I’ve been helpful! 

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If any of you know of any stores in the DFW area that offer good deals on food, please share the info!  I’d love to find more “health,” and “wallet” promoting food sellers.  Thanks in advance!

February 1, 2010 | Tags: | No Comments »
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