Natural Parenting

What Is Natural Parenting?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, as I can’t seem to find a definitive answer anywhere that I look. Not that I really need someone to tell me what being a natural parent is, but it’s still nice to know what people are thinking when I tell them I’m trying to be one.

I’ve discovered that the answer to this question is very much dependant upon who you’re asking. I believe that there is one uniting quality in all of these people, however, which is that they all want to raise their children as naturally as possible. The reason it gets confusing is because every person uniquely defines what “natural” is.

For me, being a natural parent means listening to my instincts, regardless of what the experts, research, or other parents tell me. It’s about taking every little moment I’ve experienced into account, and making the best decisions I can using those very memories. I know nothing that I have not lived. I can only do what I feel is right as I go along.

I believe that God created the world, and those who live in it, in a very specific, intentional way. There is an order to things, and when a person goes outside of that order, or takes shortcuts, there is bound to be consequences. I’m not saying that you’re damned to hell if you put disposable diapers on your kid, but I am saying that a lot of these things have downsides, many times so minimal that we don’t even notice. I see this in my own life all the time.

We will never be able to live perfectly natural, as the world has changed significantly since it first began (whether that was a 100,000,000,000 years ago, or only 8,000, things are different), but we can try our hardest to listen to our hearts, and do what is best for our children.

For some, that will mean formula feeding their baby. For others, that may mean putting their child in daycare, while they work outside the home. There is not a one size fits all way to parent. We have to do what feels natural for us, as individuals. Formula feeding may not be as good as breastmilk, but if breastfeeding is going to make a mommy really stressed out, I think it would be much better for her to just use the formula. That way she is relaxed, and able to ultimately be a better mother for her child. Love is the most important thing.

I’d like to quickly highlight some things that Patrick and I feel are really important in our natural parenting journey.

Respecting our child/ren’s needs, and loving him unconditionally, even when it makes us uncomfortable (and believe you me, it has!)
Responding to our child/ren’s needs and desires which include:
Infant Potty Training – responding to Axel’s need to eliminate, and helping him to do so in a comfortable enviroment (Elimination Communication)
Co-Sleeping – responding to Axel’s need to be close to us, and cherishing this time we have with him
Baby-wearing – again, we recognize Axel’s need to be close to us, and we feel that wearing him helps us accomplish this, while still being able to get other things done.
Breastfeeding – we believe the breast is a very important place of comfort for our son, and it also supplies him with wonderful nutrition, which is crucial for us.
Unschooling – he is still very young, but we want to honor his passions by allowing him to explore the world throughout his life, without him feeling forced to “learn” things that are uninteresting to him. (I don’t think he would actually be truly learning anyway, if that was the case.)
Raw foods – we want to fuel his body as naturally as possible, which for us means having fresh, whole, unaltered food available for him to eat, if he wants to eat it.
We want to show him God’s love through loving him, and each other. We don’t want to be overbearing parents who insist that he believe how we believe, because we know that is very ineffective. We are simply going to try our best to show him pure love, without judgement, as God loves us.

I’m sure I could go on and on, but I felt it necessary to give at least a little framework of what we consider natural parenting to be. I want everyone to know that I do not think these are the “right” way of doing things, simply the right way for us. Please, follow your own hearts when it comes to raising your children. I just ask that you try your hardest to understand that I am doing the same.

Thank you all for reading. Sorry if things got a little sappy. I’ll be back on Sunday.

The Best Baby Carriers – Ergo And Moby

My Ergo is back! I can’t tell you how thrilled I am. It’s been out of order for the past 6 weeks, sadly due to my pure stupidity. (Ugh!)

You see, a couple of months ago I was trying to figure out how to set up the Ergo straps correctly for the side carry position. I decided to go ahead and watch the instructional dvd that it came with, so I wouldn’t end up doing it the wrong way. (Who knew that would be the least of my worries, haha.)

On the video, they give an example of the different positions just fine, but they are using an Ergo that has since been upgraded. The one on the video has removable straps, but mine does not. I spent about 10 minutes trying to dismantle the straps, until I finally realized that they didn’t come off. Frustrated, I went on to set it up how I wanted it, with all the straps still intact. (Apparently, that didn’t register in my blonde mind, though, because I later thought I had lost them…)

We had been using the side carry position for awhile, but it soon became too uncomfortable for our backs. When Patrick asked how he could put it back to the front carry position, I told him that I would have to put the straps back on first, which were at home at the time, or so I thought. (That stupid video was playing in my head, so I was convinced I had removed them!)

I had been feeling pretty down lately about the whole thing. I LOVE my Ergo carrier, and I’ve hated not being able to hold Axel as much as I like to. Two days ago, though, we were at Central Market, and I decided I would carry Axel in the side carry position, and just deal with the slight back pain. I picked it up from the back of the van, and glancing at it, I realized it looked like the straps were connected. It took me roughly 2 seconds to realize what was going on. Wow. Talk about feeling like an idiot. I explained to Patrick what had happened, and , of course, being the positive being that he is, just laughed and said, “well, at least we can use it now!”

That is true, at least we can use it. The Ergo is an amazing carrier, and definitely my favorite of all I’ve tried (Bjorn, and some other off brands). It is perfect for wearing around the house, to the grocery store, or up a mountain. (Awesome for hiking!) We’ve really enjoyed it so far, and it’s great because both Patrick and I can wear it without adjusting it much. It’s very comfortable in the front carry position, but as I mentioned, the side carry can be a strain on the back. (For us, at least.) We have yet to try carrying Axel on our backs, as he hasn’t really been stable enough to do so. We’ll test that out soon.

One downside was that we couldn’t use it until he was three months old. Before then, he was just too little, and wobbly. However, the Ergo makers have come up with a solution for this, called an infant insert. It’s basically just some padding to put inside the carrier, around the baby, to make him/her more secure. We didn’t personally try it, but we’ve heard good things about it. (I’ve also heard that receiving blankets can do the job just as well, and are less expensive.)

Before Axel was 3 months old, we used the Moby Wrap, which I also highly recommend. It was indispensable for us when he was itty bitty. If he was getting sleepy, or just mentally over stimulated, I would wrap him up close to me with the Moby. He loved it, and almost always fell asleep within a few minutes. This enabled me to be near him, while still allowing me the freedom to do things around the house. I doubt I would have gotten anything done without it. (<— not that I got much house work done anyway, but a little is better than nothing!)

Both carriers are great, but if you are only looking to purchase one, I’d go with the Ergo, as you will be able to use it for longer. (Axel is really too big for the Moby at this point- he’s 20 pounds.) However, the Ergo is 2 1/2 times the price, so if you are on a very limited budget, the Moby is a great buy. It’s $40, but considering it’s just a long piece of stretchy cloth, you may be able to make one yourself. The point is that you find something that is comfortable for you and your baby. That way, you can both enjoy the bond you create by being close to each other. Babies love being near their mommies and daddies!