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I’ve always loved being able to hear my husband breathing while he sleeps, and I feel that way about my son as well. There is nothing more peaceful than seeing, hearing, and feeling a child breathe. It’s something that cannot be described, but is easily understood by most parents, especially mothers. I believe the thing that truly amazes me is that a part of me is alive outside of my body, a part of my heart. My wonderful Creator is allowing me to experience something so much bigger than myself. It’s a small dose of the love He has for us as our Father.
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I love curling up next to baby Axel at night. He is such a sweetheart, and I’ll use any excuse I can come up with to be close to him as much as possible! I think a lot of parents feel that way, but at the same time, they are being fed all sorts of misinformation about co-sleeping, which is unfortunate. I don’t think bed sharing would be as uncommon as it is if people truly followed their natural instincts.
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We planned on co-sleeping right from the beginning of my pregnancy. There weren’t any other options in our minds. That didn’t change once Axel was born either. We fell into a natural rhythm, and quickly adapted to having a new little human in bed with us. Life was good (and still is).
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It hasn’t gone perfectly, but I can’t imagine things going any smoother with him in a crib. The hardest part was the first month, mainly because I was a new mother and somewhat fearful. He was so tiny, and I knew it was my job to protect him, so I was overly cautious about our sleeping arrangement. I had him bordered off with small pillows at first, just to make sure he was safe in case I rolled over. I still kept my face very close to him, and always kept my hand on his foot, so he knew I was there. Thankfully, that only lasted a few days, as I figured out that I no longer was a deep sleeper. 
Having a baby really amplifies a mommy’s senses!
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Axel sleeps so easily when I’m near him, opposed to when I’m not (such as during naps). He knows I’m there, even when he isn’t awake, which is kind of bizarre, but makes perfect sense. Babies want to be close to their mommies, it’s just a natural desire, I think.
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The good thing is that he is becoming more and more independent. Over the past few weeks, he has decided to occasionally roll away from me while falling asleep (he’s done this 3-4 times). In other words, he likes his space, which hasn’t been the case before now. It’s a bit sad, but at the same time, I know it’s just a necessary step he has to take. It’s also encouraging, because I feel it means that Patrick and I have a done a good enough job with him, so far, that he trusts us enough to take that next move of independence from us.
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I haven’t set a move out date for Axel, as I am kind of waiting to see how everything falls into place, or falls out of place. 
I think we still have a ways to go, which I’m relieved to know, but I know that this time will pass quickly. I’m enjoying every night I get to spend cuddled up with our little boy. He is such a gift.
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I sure don’t want him to grow up. 
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