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Natural Parenting Criticism

by admin on March 16, 2010

Natural parenting seems to face a lot of opposition.  Nearly every person I’m around has something to say about why I am raising my child the wrong way.  I do not want to be one of those people.

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Obviously, I wouldn’t be criticizing natural parenting, but I could easily slip into judging other types of parenting choices that people make.  I do not want to do this, but I occasionally catch myself thinking that other parents could, or more truthfully, “should” do things a different way.  That really is unfair of me, especially when I HATE when others treat me that way.

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Being looked down upon by others can make a person feel really lousy (myself included).  There is little worse things that can happen to a kid than being made fun of by their fellow classmates in school.  I don’t believe that things change all that much once we become adults.  “Grown ups” are usually just better at covering up their shame.

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If only we could all be mature, loving adults.  That would be a perfect world.

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Natural parenting is a way of life for us, but it’s not who we “are” as a family.  As a family, we are simply a small group of people who love each other dearly, and want what is best for one another.  I have to remember this.  If I do, I’ll be less likely to get so caught up in my natural parenting ideals that I forget that other families are also trying their very best.

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Some parents will get their children vaccinated, but we won’t, so who is the better family?

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There isn’t one.  No one has the right to judge which is the better decision. Both sides have reasonable arguments as to why their way is the “better” way.  Truth is, there is no better way, because better is completely subjective.  We must stop arguing about these things.

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However, that doesn’t mean we should just stop defending the things we believe in, that’s not what I’m saying at all.  We should continue to fight for our causes.  We just need to do so without trying to annihilate all the people who disagree with us.

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It is easy to get defensive when you’re a natural parent because it seems like everyone is against you.  We are always wrong wrong wrong.  In my case, I’ll admit that I frequently have my guard up with people, because I always feel it necessary to defend myself.  This probably wouldn’t be the case if more people would just agree to disagree with me, without trying to shove their mainstream way of thinking down my throat.  (See what I mean about me being defensive? :))

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I don’t want to be that way.  I want to be accepting of other people’s decisions, and trust that they truly do have their child’s best interest in mind.  I don’t want to be the person who tries to convince others that natural parenting is the absolute BEST way to parent, because that might not always be the case.

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Different people do different things, and although I would still love to see more families taking on natural parenting lifestyles, I’m going to try not to force my decisions on others.

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This blog is a different story, however.  This is my freedom place.  This is where I rant, and talk about how wonderful natural parenting is for me, and how so many others could benefit if they just tried it, etc…  People already know what this blog is about, and they have the choice to read it or not, so I don’t consider this a place where I am forcing my opinions on anyone, simply because I’m not in control of the sites they visit.

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In other words, I’m still passionate about this blog, and I won’t be stopping anytime soon.  I hope that many of you will receive encouragement and hope from my writing.  (I know I’m not a great writer, but sometimes just knowing that there are others out there in the same boat can be encouraging enough.)

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I hope you will all keep coming back to read.  Just remember, what is right for my family, isn’t going to be right for everyone.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

admin April 21, 2010 at 11:53 pm

It’s so refreshing when people are able to see past our differences, and realize that I really am trying my hardest to do what’s right. No two people will always do things the same, and I think we would be better off if we would just understand that! Thanks for commenting. :)

Jo Cooper April 21, 2010 at 5:43 pm

It’s evident that you love your family very much. While I oppose some of your ideas, there’s no doubt that you’re doing what you feel is right and loving. My sister once said, “the message is always about the sender.” I always try to remember that when people say I’m wrong about something. They likely want to know their ideas are valid and aren’t really interested in what you’re offering. And like you said, it’s their problem.

admin March 19, 2010 at 1:50 am

Wow.

I am a complete loser because you’re comment almost made me cry! I can’t tell you how much what you’ve said means to me. I feel discouraged a lot when I’m around family because people really don’t understand that I am trying HARD to do my best. They just think I’m a nut case! (Maybe I am, but still ;) There is nothing more encouraging than having a family member’s support. Thank you so much.

I do love Patrick and Axel more than anything; more than myself. I also know that you love your babies just as much. (And I’ve seen in their eyes how much they love you!) We both want what’s best for them, and if that means that we do things differently to accomplish that goal, so be it. It’s about them.

Again, I greatly appreciate your kind words. I don’t hear them often from other family members. Glad someone is reading my blog. :p

Oh, and I hope your brother is enjoying the green smoothies- we’re addicted! :)

Lydia March 19, 2010 at 12:54 am

Sarah,
I am a definite fan of your blog…I’m a bit of a stalker…I’ll just say it! And I love your last post because it confronts something that so many people are lost in these days. “Just because something is not right for you, doesn’t mean it is wrong if someone else chooses it for there life” “Don’t judge people who do things differently than you do because who is to know which is “really” the right way??” So many lines can be blurred this way!!! I have watched some of my best friends turn into noodles in the face of something I thought they totally disagreed with! Its craziness.
I do not think that everything is worth the fight if it is really causing no harm, and if it has nothing to do with me or mine.
I love your blog because I know that you love your husband and your child more than anything on this planet. I think what you have is so precious, and I think that you respect that and that you are being the best steward of the gifts you have been given. I am forever interested in the new info or whatever you find that makes your family function more smoothly.
I did not do all of the things you do with Axel. I think that some of the things you do with Axel would have made my family’s life crazy! BUT, you know my kiddos and you know they are happy, content, loved, and healthy. And I never think you judge people who don’t make the same choices as you.
So just as one mom to another, take this as encouragement on your motherhood journey. I love to watch the way you love your family. I even take some of your advice…I’ve got my brother hooked on green smoothies:)
Do not feel judged, criticized, defensive…the people that know your family, and see the way you love each other…we know that you are doing your very best and will always support you. I tell my new mom friends that get way to much “friendly advice” that they will never hear that from me because no one loves your baby the way you do, so who am I to question the way you chose to raise them?? And I hope that they return the feeling:)

admin March 18, 2010 at 12:38 pm

It’s funny that you mention the”harm” thing because I’m going to write about that today. :)

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