Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners!
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how a co-parent has or has not supported us in our dedication to natural parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
A lot of our parenting ideas actually originated with Patrick. He wants to live naturally. He wants me to stay home and raise Axel. He wants to be a good example. We have the same goals. We have a unified focus. I think that’s what marriage is all about.
It’s not as if we never disagree. That’s hardly the case. We have differing opinions on many things, but we usually talk it over, and come to an agreement of some sort. It just so happens that most of the time we end up with the same thinking on the issues we discuss. (Although, I’ll admit, sometimes I am quick to throw out Patrick’s ideas, only to later decide that he was right. I’m a stubborn woman. Nobody is perfect. :))
Luckily, Patrick isn’t perfect either. He has jumped quite a few hurtles along this natural parenting road. Co-sleeping is a great example. Logically, he understands the concept, and truly believes it’s the best possible sleeping situation for our son. I know that he would have a hard time keeping Axel in a crib, especially in a separate room.
Despite all that, he misses me. Of course, that’s very understandable. He had me all to himself before our baby boy was born, but now it seems like all my time, love, and above all, both my breasts, are devoted to Axel. We don’t get to cuddle as much. We don’t get to talk to each other at night after Axel has gone to sleep due to fear of waking him. Worst of all, we don’t get to get down and dirty in our own bed! As Patrick says, he “just needs some lovin’!”
None the less, he has been the ultimate trouper. I don’t think I’ve heard him complain even once! I can sense his annoyance, though. I don’t think it’s gone as far as him being resentful, but it has caused him some grief, which I hate. He has been an amazing, and understanding daddy. I want him to be as happy as possible, which is why I’ve started to find other ways of pleasing him (i.e. – getting naked). Unfortunately, at this point, there’s not much to work with. I’m really debating having my sister in law watch Axel for an hour or two every once in awhile, so we can have some time for just us.
So far, I’ve only left Axel once, for about 2 1/2 hours, and it wasn’t at all planned. My friend went into labor, and Patrick was unable to get home from work immediately, so I had to leave Axel with his sister. It was horrid. I’ve never been that anxious in my life.
Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way, but leaving my baby while he’s this young really feels unnatural to me. I think he’s supposed to be with me right now, all the time. I realize doing that isn’t even possible for most people, but for me it is, and I think I should take advantage of that privilege.
I know Patrick gets that. He trusts my judgement, even when it means he loses out on a little extra attention. I am so blessed. I know there are people out there who wish that their spouse was as understanding as mine, so I really need to step up and treat him well. I want to be as good a wife as he is a husband, even if that means silently doing the deed in our 4 by 4 foot closet at 6am. He deserves it.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- A Thank You to my Husband — Lactating Girl at The Adventures of Lactating Girl thanks her husband for keeping her grounded and giving her unwavering support in the face of discouragement from within and without. (@lactatinggirl)
- My Reverse Traditional Husband In the Wild — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries gives us a lesson on how dads in the wild parent their young. Can you guess which male animal actually nurses its young? (@babydust)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting — TopHat at The Bee in Your Bonnet tells us how the patience of a partner can make a difficult breastfeeding relationship succeed. (@TopHat8855)
- Parenting Together — For Alison at BluebirdMama and her husband, parenting is simply an extension of the way they live. (@childbearing)
- If We Had A MIllion Dollars — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! and her husband would both agree to be crunchier parents if they had a million dollars to ease the way. (@bfmom)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Co-Parents — Dionna at Code Name: Mama has written a letter to her husband, thanking him for his incredible support in every aspect of their natural parenting journey. (@CodeNameMama)
- Natural Parenting Fathers — Sarah at Natural Parenting is balancing being all there for her son with being present for her husband. (@considereden)
- Just Wonderful: Love and Partners and Natural Parenting — Zoey at Good Goog let her husband lead her to babywearing and cosleeping. (@zoeyspeak)
- All that stuff I don’t get comes so easy to him — The Grumbles is taking this opportunity to say thank you to her husband for his mad parenting skills. (@thegrumbles)
- The Power of Having a Supportive Co-Parent — Chrystal at Happy Mothering and her husband started with vaccinations and moved on from there. (@HappyMothering)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners — Lauren at Hobo Mama makes do with babbling incoherently about how her husband practices natural parenting in such an effortless fashion, with bonus video. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Love and Partners — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog shares her husband’s moving account of her birth story, and his testament to the power of a woman. (@myzerowaste)
- labor support… — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children is thankful that her partner has provided her immeasurable labor support through each of their last three unassisted homebirths (and will again for their upcoming fourth!).
- What co-parent? On prams, routines, ideals, sickness, and finding my way alone. — Ruth at Look Left of the Pleiades describes life without a present co-parent: making new choices and taking care of things herself. (@brightravenmum)
- Parenting With Support — How many people can say that their husband talked them into cloth diapering? Darcel at The Mahogany Way can! (@MahoganyWayMama)
- Co-Parenting Support — Summer at Mama2Mama Tips knows the importance of being supported in the face of criticism. (@mama2mamatips)
- Natural Parenting Carnival: Love and Partners — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has been blessed with an incredibly involved partner. Her husband loves to take part in every aspect of parenting! (@pchanner)
- Daddy’s Little Girls — Kate Wicker at Momopoly finds her husband right at home in a tangle of girls. (@Momopoly)
- How do I love my parenting partner? Let me count the ways. — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker is thankful that she and her partner co-parent fluidly and gracefully. (@mamamilkers)
- Interview with a Daddy — NavelgazingBajan brings us a highly amusing peek into her husband’s perspective.
- Being Supported in Natural Parenting — Sarah at OneStarryNight has witnessed both ends of the parenting spectrum, and is grateful she found a father who is comfortable with natural parenting. (@starrymom)
- Moments in time: a love letter — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick will make you cry with the beautiful way she describes the complete relationship between father and child. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Natural parenting converts — Jen at Recovering Procrastinator brought her reluctant husband around to cloth diapers, bed sharing, and time-ins as a discipline method. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Breastfeeding Father — Amber Strocel at Strocel.com describes how her husband helped her overcome the breastfeeding challenges she encountered with her premature daughter. (@AmberStrocel)
- A Natural Parenting Village — Acacia from Art, Body & Soul, in a guest post for Jamie at Suddenly Stay at Home, broadens the term “coparents” to embrace supportive extended family on both sides. (@SuddnlyStyAtHme)
- A Natural Dad — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest doesn’t have a husband who merely supports her — she has a husband just as dedicated to natural parenting as she is.
- Love and Support From My (sometimes pantsless) Man — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma describes life with the sometimes bumbling but always lovable Pantsless Man. (@kitchenwitch)
- G-O-T-E-A-M! — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile made sure her future husband agreed with her parenting choices early in their dating. (@tisworthwhile)
- how we come to parenthood — Michelle at womanseekingmother dances with her husband around the subject of cosleeping. (@seekingmother)